The Secret of Psyche's Headphones
by xxpsychocupcake
Summary: What is Psyche REALLY listening to in those headphones all the time?
1. Chapter 1

The Secret of Psyche's Headphones

"Psyche?" Tsugaru whispered, walking into the main room of the apartment they shared together. Shizuo and Izaya had been visiting earlier that day, and Tsugaru was exhausted. The two "lovers" had gotten into a disagreement over _something_, this time he thought it was over the health benefits of Pocky over ottoro, and their kitchen had nearly been destroyed in the process. The visit had ended in disaster, with Shizuo throwing a chair at Izaya and hitting Psyche instead. None of his bones were broken, but Psyche was hysterical, sobbing about how mean the two of them were to each other, and why couldn't they just be nice to each other, and Tsu-chan never threw chairs when _he_ was upset, and why can't everyone just be friends, etc.. Finally, after Tsugaru had bandaged Psyche's arm and Shizuo had apologized a thousand times, he had managed to get both of them out the door.

Psyche had calmed down, but his arm was bothering him, so Tsugaru had told him to take it easy while he cleaned up the kitchen. That had been two hours ago (most of that time was spent trying to move the refrigerator back), and Tsugaru was finally finished.

"Psyche?" Tsugaru repeated, coming up behind the couch where he had last left his lover. _Was he alright? _Tsugaru wondered, beginning to feel worried.

He came around the couch and saw a strange sight.

Psyche was asleep with his head on the coffee table, smiling in his dream. His sketch pad was open, and colored pencils were strewn haphazardly around the table and floor. Sitting next to him, pale as a ghost, was Shizuo. Shizuo's eyes were wide, his mouth slightly open. Perched atop his head were Psyche's headphones.

"Shizuo-san?" Shizuo snapped out of his stupor, glancing up at the confused Tsugaru. He blinked a few times, then pulled the headphones off his head and threw them to the floor.

"We have to burn it," he rasped. "Burn it with _fire._"

Tsugaru raised his eyebrows. "What?"

"_Them." _Shizuo said, pointing a shaky finger at the headphones. "They're _**evil.**_"

"The headphones?" Tsugaru went to pick them up off the floor (hell, he had JUST cleaned their apartment, he didn't want to make a new mess), but Shizuo grabbed his sleeve and yanked him back.

"Don't touch them! You might be infected!"

Tsugaru sighed. "Forgive me, Shizuo-san, but this is ridiculous." He walked over to the headphones, putting them around his neck like a DJ. "There isn't anything wrong with Psyche's headpho-"

He never finished the sentence, because Shizuo took the headphones and put them over Tsugaru's ears, forcing him to listen.

His eyes widened, his mouth dropped open in horror, and he swore that something in his brain snapped. Years from the experience, Tsugaru could still hear the terrible, shrieking, ghastly melody playing in his worst nightmares.

Shakily, Tsugaru put the demon headphones down on the floor. He and Shizuo glanced at the headphones, then at each other, then at the headphones.

"Burn them." Shizuo whispered.

Slowly, Tsugaru nodded. "It must be done," He said gravely, "For the good of mankind."

The endless, twenty-four hour loop on Nyan-Cat that Psyche listened to had to be destroyed. For their sanity and for the good of the world.

**THE END. (Everyone loves a happy ending.)**


	2. Epilouge

Epilogue.

"Tsu-channnn~ Have you seen my headphones?" Psyche cried, bounding into the kitchen the next morning. "I can't find them!"

Tsugaru looked up from cooking breakfast and shrugged. "I haven't seen them. Have you checked the bedroom?"

"Yesss! They're not _anywhere_! I can't believe I was so careless! Uwah! Bad Psyche!" He started fretting and looking around the kitchen, in drawers and cupboards, even in the refrigerator.

Smiling, Tsugaru hugged Psyche from behind, causing Psyche to almost lose his footing. "Maybe the scary monster under the bed ate them!" He teased.

"Not the monster! Nooooo!" Psyche wriggled around in Tsugaru's arms, smiling up at him. "We'll never get them!" He paused, gazing at his lover's face, then frowned. "Ne, Tsu-chan, what happened to your eyebrows?" He ghosted his fingers over Tsugaru's eyebrows, which were singed.

Tsugaru shrugged and pulled him closer. "My pipe poofed out onto my face," He lied. _The headphones put up a fight,_ he thought, shivering, remembering how the headphones had shrieked and fought as the flames consumed them.

"Ne, that's why you don't smoke, silly!" Psyche grinned before pulling Tsugaru down into a kiss.

**And so, thanks to Shizuo and Tsugaru, the Nyan Cat was defeated, and the day was saved.**

Epilogue to the Epilogue. 

"Hey Tsu-chan, did I show you my new sneakers?"

Inwardly, Tsugaru screamed. _I hope Shizuo-san still has the flamethrower._

**THE END (I really mean it this time, I swear.)**


End file.
